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well i'm back from my weekend in Long Beach. James ruined Friday night by taking forever to get here and so we ended up getting to Long Beach late. i was sooo mad. i didn't even get to go to a club at all. which sucked. and Maggie was kinda upset too cuz James was acting like a total jerk and she bought a new outfit and stuff we ended up just going out and getting a couple of drinks cuz it was already too late to get into a club (it was 1 a.m. and clubs close down at 2). but i did get to meet that asian guy from the BEP and he is so cute! he even kissed me on the cheek (TWICE!!) i took a pic with him too. he was really nice, he just went into the breaking event and watched the battles like everyone else, he didn't have tons of bodygaurds around and act all snobby either. he was really cool and nice about autographs and pictures and stuff. not too many ppl went up to him, though. most of the ppl there are into more underground hip hop instead of commercial rappers, but i still think the BEP are cool! well i probably won't be doing much today since eric has to work...maybe i will go to the library and get some books to read. i can't believe school starts in 2 weeks, agh! i'm so excited! oh and for anyone that decides to promote a community in my journal...skip it. i am NOT joining any communities promoted by ppl i don't know. i am sick of joining communities where everyone wants everyone to be like them and ppl just say no to someone becuz they don't like the same things as them...its dumb. if your going to say no, say no for a reason, not just becuz you don't like the things that person likes. so no more of that, don't even waste your time cuz i WON'T JOIN!

tomorrow's the day!

well tomorrow is the day we go to Long Beach for the weekend, whoo hoo! and it turns out i will NOT miss the Black Eyed Peas. eric's friend is gonna drive himself, thank God. i hope i can actually SEE them and i'm not standing somewhere in the back! tomorrow night i guess we are all gonna go out clubbing and get messed up! i want to go to a club in Hollywood but eric's friend james insists that the clubs in Long Beach are happenin'. maggie says that they aren't, and she LIVES in Long Beach so i mean she would know, right? if those clubs are wack and we listen to james im gonna be so pissed cuz we could have saved all that time and just went to Hollywood. i'm gonna try to get a new clubbin' outfit tomorrow night, or i might just finally wear the skirt i got from Hollister, even though its a little short i think in a club it will be ok! i won't be back til Sunday, so i guess i'll write about what the weekend was like when i get back.

Ugh

today sucked! my neck hurts from working out, i dunno why! but its hurting pretty bad (yea, i went to the gym today. i've lost 3 pounds and still feelin' like a hippo!) takes time, i know...the place where i bought my car is totally trying to rip me off. they made me pay an extra $50 something for a "late fee" but my payment is only like 2 days late. they are so anal its getting on my nerves. they know i can't make my payments on saturday if i get PAID saturday, i can't mail it in time! and they refuse to change the days its due...but then get mad when the payment is late! its like HELLO are u retarded? are u get paid to be a moron? i hate these ppl and i can't wait til we finish paying this stupid car. i've been talking to my mom alot lately about my real dad and what he was like...i always wondered what my grandparents were like (they died a while back)and if i looked like either of them. i just want to know more about my background and stuff, cuz right now i don't know much. i am sick of ppl always trying to make me feel bad about being mixed. i can't help it. its how i was born and theres nothing i can do to change it. i don't mind it at all myself. i never wished i was full white or full black, i like being a little of both! its cool to me but i guess to some ppl, they think i need to "choose" what i want to be...well i can't, i am what i am and thats all i can be... all i know is my mom is half white nad half black, and so is my dad...i'd like to know more about him, but i have to find him first! and since my stepdad has been standing in the way of that in the past cuz i was too young to decide, i've decided to try and see him. i haven't seen him in 21 years but...oh well! and i found out today the Black Eyed Peas are definitely playing on Satuday, and since eric insists on driving his lazy ass friend to HIS grandpa's funeral, i'm gonna miss them!! its like why can't he just tell his friend to take his own car?? its like he's afraid to make him mad at him or something. we paid $54 for this event and i don't wanna miss a day of it to drive his friend all around. i mean its his family thing, his grandpa died, why doesn't he go to the funeral and be with his family? no, he'd rather have eric drive him there so he doesn't have to, then drive BACK to long beach and take him BACK home again. and instead of staying with his family he is more worried about being in Long Beach. he has SO much sympathy and compassion, huh? and eric is just falling for his little plan. he doesn't want to do all that driving, so he'll ask eric to do it knowing eric is such a pushover and will do ANYTHING his friends ask! it makes me mad cuz its like what i say about it doesn't even matter cuz his friend really needs him. even though I PAID $54 for those damn even tickets and I am going to miss a day of the event to drive his friend to a funeral. i told him i would rather us wait for his friend in Long Beach, but NOOOO it doesn't matter what i want cuz his best friend James needs him. whatever. i'm so sick of competing with his friends. i wish he would get some balls and JUST SAY NO. ne way i'm getting worked up about it so i'm gonna go now.

Ugh

today sucked! my neck hurts from working out, i dunno why! but its hurting pretty bad (yea, i went to the gym today. i've lost 3 pounds and still feelin' like a hippo!) takes time, i know...the place where i bought my car is totally trying to rip me off. they made me pay an extra $50 something for a "late fee" but my payment is only like 2 days late. they are so anal its getting on my nerves. they know i can't make my payments on saturday if i get PAID saturday, i can't mail it in time! and they refuse to change the days its due...but then get mad when the payment is late! its like HELLO are u retarded? are u get paid to be a moron? i hate these ppl and i can't wait til we finish paying this stupid car. i've been talking to my mom alot lately about my real dad and what he was like...i always wondered what my grandparents were like (they died a while back)and if i looked like either of them. i just want to know more about my background and stuff, cuz right now i don't know much. i am sick of ppl always trying to make me feel bad about being mixed. i can't help it. its how i was born and theres nothing i can do to change it. i don't mind it at all myself. i never wished i was full white or full black, i like being a little of both! its cool to me but i guess to some ppl, they think i need to "choose" what i want to be...well i can't, i am what i am and thats all i can be... all i know is my mom is half white nad half black, and so is my dad...i'd like to know more about him, but i have to find him first! and since my stepdad has been standing in the way of that in the past cuz i was too young to decide, i've decided to try and see him. i haven't seen him in 21 years but...oh well! and i found out today the Black Eyed Peas are definitely playing on Satuday, and since eric insists on driving his lazy ass friend to HIS grandpa's funeral, i'm gonna miss them!! its like why can't he just tell his friend to take his own car?? its like he's afraid to make him mad at him or something. we paid $54 for this event and i don't wanna miss a day of it to drive his friend all around. i mean its his family thing, his grandpa died, why doesn't he go to the funeral and be with his family? no, he'd rather have eric drive him there so he doesn't have to, then drive BACK to long beach and take him BACK home again. and instead of staying with his family he is more worried about being in Long Beach. he has SO much sympathy and compassion, huh? and eric is just falling for his little plan. he doesn't want to do all that driving, so he'll ask eric to do it knowing eric is such a pushover and will do ANYTHING his friends ask! it makes me mad cuz its like what i say about it doesn't even matter cuz his friend really needs him. even though I PAID $54 for those damn even tickets and I am going to miss a day of the event to drive his friend to a funeral. i told him i would rather us wait for his friend in Long Beach, but NOOOO it doesn't matter what i want cuz his best friend James needs him. whatever. i'm so sick of competing with his friends. i wish he would get some balls and JUST SAY NO. ne way i'm getting worked up about it so i'm gonna go now.

So tired..and sick

i am so tired right now. and i really feel kinda sick, but just felt like saying something in my journal. well today is my one year anniversary, whoo hoo! we made it through one whole year of marriage, and it was SO HARD. i hope it gets easier after this! but we didn't do anything becuz eric had to work and work late. so i just went out with Jazmin for a while after the football game was over (i can't believe the Packers lost! that sucks). we went to some place called Aculpulco. they were having happy hour and their drinks were really cheap. i only had a couple of margaritas, though. but they were so good! James called her while we were there, he's such an ass. he always hangs up on her when he finds out she's out somewhere rather than sitting home alone. its like he wants her to do nothing and gets mad when she goes out even though they aren't even together. he is a weirdo and i wouldn't even answer his calls ne more if i was her. he is too much drama. then we just talked and stuff about when we were in high school. then i came home. now here i am...doing nothing and being very sleepy. i worked on my website finally. i hadn't added anything in a while. so that was a good thing. well i guess thats about all i have to talk about for now so i'm gonna go to bed.

bad girl

i feel like such a bad girl today. i have no idea why. i've just been feeling like being a bitch for no reason. i haven't been very wifey-like to eric today. i've been more bitchy-like to him...but he has been nibbling me and stuff and he KNOWS i hate that. so i dunno hopefully this wears off tomorrow...well our car payment is a little behind...eric has NO CLUE and if i tell him he's gonna get so mad. so i'm just gonna quietly pay it and he will never know. those ppl are so annoying ne ways. they call like a million times a week even if i'm NOT behind and i'm just a day late. it sucks. i can't wait til we get a new car and stop dealing with these ppl. they are so anal about everything. i've been joining some of these communities on here to meet new ppl. i guess its cool, i mean...i don't understand how they do certain things, and how they choose who to accept and who NOT to accept, but everyone has their own style and taste and opinion, and now i get to add mine in there. i'm gonna try to be as nice as possible. but some of the others seem a lot less stressful and the ppl are so nice. i love meeting new girls, and have no problem admitting when someone is cute. i would never hate on someone just becuz they ARE cute, nor would i lie and tell someone they are cute when i don't really think they are. i hope thats a good quality that ppl in these communities will appreciate. i am still excited about going to long beach, i hope i get to see Maggie. i miss her lots, i haven't seen her since eric and i got back together. thats been at least 2 months! i'm so glad she and Clyde are calling it quits. he is a jerk and an asshole and she deserves so much better. she is pretty enough to get a guy that will appreciate her instead of take her for granted! so i hope next weekend she and i can get together while i'm in long beach...maybe go clubbing that night, whoo hoo! i love dancing. well ne ways i guess thats enough for now...more later.