*sigh*

well today is going to be a boring day, i can tell. i don't care if its labor day, there still isn't crap going on. plus i feel really sad...i think eric is going to get his cell turned back on. i hope he doesn't, though. i just don't think i could trust him and stay with him if he has it again. i always think about when i first found out he was talking to that girl...now i ALWAYS think that he is going to talk to her, and maybe he will. who knows? i just know things have been alot better since his cell has been off, and if he turns it back on, i'm always going to be wondering if he is calling her or texting her when i'm not around. i HATE that he did this, that he made me feel this way, all insecure and stupid over this whole mess. why would he WANT to talk to someone else? who knows? i just know i don't want to go through all the hurt i did before finding out he is talking to her. plus the girl is a total bitch, i tried talking to her and asking her to just back off and stop calling and she talked all kinds of crap to me, telling me eric doesn't really care about me, he's just using me and our marriage doesn't mean anything to him anyway...i HATE her! ugh! i can't stand girls like her, she thinks she knows him so much better than me because they were talking for a few months, which is so dumb! but i dunno if i will ever really be able to trust him again...i am trying but its really hard. i would never go behind his back and talk to another guy on the phone, late at night and sending text messages back and forth and try to HIDE it...i have nothing to hide and never have. but who knows? i dunno and i just don't even really wanna think about it. but its totally ruined my day now.

i'm so sleepy!

man i am tired! eric and me went to Knotts Berry Farm today, it was alot of fun, but it was super hot outside. it was like 90 degrees and burning up. we got on some water rides to cool off, unfortunately eric DID NOT get even the tiniest bit wet, but luckily, all the water just seemed to fly in my direction. i got soaked, so it cooled me off for a while. we got into an argument on the way to Knotts. i asked him to pay for my ticket into Knotts and he didn't want to! he was being super stingy and i had no idea why so i asked him why he was being so greedy and he got really mad and starting yelling and told me to just drop it and forget about it. but i got pissed cuz he was yelling at me so i told him i was NOT going to drop it and i'd talk about it as much as i wanted! then he got REALLY mad that i got smart and was talking about turning around and going home and i was like whatever u don't have to go home...so he kept going. i just stayed quiet, i didn't even want to TALK to him after he acted like such a miser with his money. i was going to just buy my own ticket in but when we got there he tried to apologize and be all nice, and said he would "buy my ticket and my food and any candy or desserts i wanted". LOL! i dunno what made him change his mind. i told him "no u don't have to i'll pay for myself" (just to make him say no he would pay lol) and of course he said just that: "no, i'll pay don't worry i'll pay." i knew he would change his mind, he always does! i dunno what is up with guys...they are so weird sometimes. well i am really tired from being out in the sun all day so i'm going to get off here...

Sad...

awww i'm sad. eric and i just had a fight. he is mad becuz i punched him in the stomach...i didn't mean to hit him so hard!! i was just messing around and don't know my own strength i guess lol. oopsie! well i went to school today, the school is so overcrowded...i think everyone that thought they would avoid the big crowds of the main campus came here, and now there are big crowds on the smaller campus! dumb, huh? and it was filthy hot today too...so that made it worse. i got into all my classes...so thats good

i can't stand stupid ppl...

ok i don't get ppl online sometimes. why do they take it so serious and get all bent out of shape over little things??? its beyond me. my online buddy of like 3 years started talking crap to me because i asked her if she was talking crap about Isabel (who is my REAL friend that i have known for 3 years IN PERSON). Isabel is pregnant and her and Jen started chatting thru some AOL group i asked them to join. but jen started tlaking about Isabel being preg, like calling her cow and hippo and elephant cuz shes big. well DUH shes pregnant! and since Isabel is my REAL friend i decided to ask Jen why she said those things. instead of denying or confirming it, though, her and her bf (who had nothing to do with the situation at all) decided to tell me pretty much to mind my own business and stop sticking my nose where it doesn't belong, and not to ask questions that have nothing to do with me. so i told them to go jump in a lake! i mean i just ASKED if she said those things. i didn't even say that she DID say them. i don't like being told what to do, especially by someone else's bf! thats just retarded. it had nothing to do with him at all, and it pissed me off that she would even let her bf sit there and talk crap to me, and call me a gossip and call my nosy and whatever the hell else he said. now she is trying to talk to Isabel again like nothing ever happened...LOL! oh well, Isabel i know in person and is a real friend, Jen is just someone i've talked to online for a while...if she decides to apologize for acting like a nutcase, then thats cool, but if not, thats cool too. i was always nice to her and she just kinda ruined it by letting jarod talk crap to me and act like i did something wrong. i'm not the one calling pregnant girls "cow" and "hippo" just to make them feel bad! ne ways, on a good note, last night eric and i went to the movies. we saw The Manchurian Candidate. that movie is SO GOOD! Denzel makes some of the best movies. that movie had some crazy conspiracy thing going on...it was actually kinda sad in a way, they made Denzel look kinda like a psycho lol. there are a bunch of movies coming out soon that i wanna see, too. Resident Evil Apocolypse comes out this month, yay! and Oceans 12 comes out in December. thats so cool that they made a part two to that movie, and it even has the same actors (well most of the important ones at least). i LOVED Oceans 11!! so i can't wait til that comes out. well i guess thats about all...my dad has someone coming to look at the house soon so i gotta get eric up and outta bed so they can look at our room.

he thinks he knows everything...

why is it that eric thinks he knows everything about everything?? he is supposed to be doing that real estate deal with his stupid friend james. they get a loan for a house, james dad builds the house, eric and james sell real estate agent sells the house, eric and james share the profit of the sell of the house. sounds great, right...but i keep asking him if no one BUYS the house that james dad builds for them, then who is going to make the house payments on it?? he keeps saying that "they are dealing with james dad, not some bum off the street. they are not going to do anything to jeapordize their credit and screw them over. someone WILL buy the house for sure, it sells like crazy there". ok. so these ppl know what they are doing, but there IS a chance that no one will buy the house RIGHT AWAY. so if that happens, i want to know who will make the house payments! who is going to pay back that loan if NO ONE buys the house?? they will have to forclose on it if they can't make the payments (which neither of them will be able to) and once they have a forclosed home on their credit score, they will never be able to get anything on credit (or at least not for a very long time). and since we are married, that screws me over too! he never thinks ahead. he just goes with the flow and believes whatever anyone tells him. sometimes he is so naive, it makes me sick. he listens to everyone else like they are BUDDHA or something and know all and whenever i tell him something, its like i'm just some moron who knows nothing about the world or about life or about anything at all. i dunno why he never listens to me. i just hope he doesn't get himself in over his head with this thing and screw us both in the end. i don't want my credit screwed for him and his idiot friend's mistakes. sometimes eric makes me so mad! i am his wife, but he always takes everyone else's side on everything. oh well. on a good note, i did buy most of my school supplies today. i just need to get a book bag now for all my crap. i hope my books aren't over $100...i don't think they will be, but you never know with college books. well not much else to talk about so i'm just gonna get off here and go to bed. its already 1:30.

theres not much going on today...i'm really bored its getting late...

sorry, its lyrics from an Avril Lavigne song thats stuck in my head! but there really isn't much going on today since my check won't come til tomorrow or Tuesday! this weekend has been super boring and i have been super lazy. there aren't even any good movies coming on today. i wish there were! maybe i will watch a dvd or something...oooh speaking of dvs's The Passion comes out on Tuesday. i am SO gonna buy that dvd. that movie made me cry buckets of tears, i simply MUST own it. i'm also gonna try to get my school shopping (i'm so late doing it) outta the way too since school starts on Thursday. i want to get at least 2 new outfits now, and get some more this weekend when eric gets paid ;). i have to use most of the money for books! ugh college books are so expensive! ne ways like i said not much going on today, i haven't heard from maggie in like a week so i better call or text message her and make sure she is still alive!

so much better

i feel alot better today. i dunno why i was feeling so down and out of it the past few days...but i feel ok now. i know that even if they don't always say it, my family does appreciate me...maybe the things i do go overlooked but i know they love me. my husband too...he is sweet and he is a GUY, what can i expect? they always do and say stupid things anyway. i cannot wait til next Thursday, school is starting FINALLY! i am so excited. i'm gonna study so hard and pass all these classes with a B or better. there i said it, so now i have to do it! wish me luck. so i gotta enjoy these last few days i have study free...well not much else going on today. i might go to Universal Studios next weekend since Eric gets paid. he said he would take me since i have never been (thats him being sweet again!) that should be fun.