Ugh!

well today i went to the gym again, thank God. there was no way i was going to miss another day! i love working out, it makes me feel good and i have lost so much weight it makes me feel even better! i can't wait until next weekend! eric and me are finally going out of town for a couple of days, AND i get to meet the Black Eyed Peas! i hope they perform Hey Mama...i've been noticing these communities on here are just like high school cliques. "oh shes not CUTE enough to join!" "oh shes TOO cute to join!" whats that all about? i thought it was all just for fun. i mean, i'll admit, that at first i was like "well i will try and get some better looking pics so THEN they will think i'm cute and want me to join!" but then i was like wth?? what am i trying to impress them for? i don't even KNOW these ppl and they don't know me. and if they are going to let my pictures keep them from getting to know me, then f*ck it. i won't join unless the people seem nice and genuine, and not totally hung up on appearance. there is more to a person than what they look like. i could be a really nice person inside and not be what you WANT me to look like outside, you know? thats why i never judge people. everyone has their qualities. so if they accept me, thats cool. if not, thats cool too. cuz i know that i'm beautiful inside AND out, and i'm NOT the only person that thinks so! ;) ne ways, school will be starting soon, i have got to go shopping and quick! before all the good stuff is gone. but i'm gonna wait til i go to L.A. next week, i bet i can find some good stuff out there. i love school shopping! maybe i will get Jazmin to go shopping with me...and have Maggie come down and make a day of it. sounds good! well i better go...eric is begging me to go to bed since i've been online for a WHOLE HOUR and its 1:23 a.m. so more later.

Bored...

today was so boring. there was nothing to do, especially since eric is working now. i went to the gym, as usual. i think i am slimming down, not losing much weight though cuz i'm gaining muscle. but thats ok. i'd rather have some muscle than be chubby like before. i can't wait until school starts. i've missed being in school! i love school shopping, for clothes, supplies, whatever! its great. other than that, i don't have much else to look forward to. my one year anniversary is Monday. i can't believe me and eric have been married one year. its hard to believe we even got through it. i really didn't think we were gonna make it. its still kinda hard to trust him...i am always expecting him to start talking to another girl behind my back and lie to me about it, or try to meet someone else...i hate feeling insecure about our relationship, but its hard after what he did. i'm hoping he learned from that mistake and doesn't do it again. cuz if he does, it seriously is OVER cuz i don't need that. but ne ways i guess thats all i have to say now. i guess more later.

Goin' to the beach

last night i saw The Village with my friend Jazmin. That movie is SO WACK. it had the worst plot and the worst ending...the whole thing was just retarded. DON'T see it. well afterwards we went to this little sushi bar and her ex was there and he bought us some drinks. i had like 7 drinks and i just downed them all so fast...he was acting like a jerk so i just wanted to get outta there. plus one of his friends was trying to "get to know me" if you know what i mean, and i was like sorry homie, i'm married! but he didn't seem to get it. so finally i was like "Jazmin, i have a headache and we were gonna leave and James (the ex) wanted to walk us out. so we left and some dudes in this SUV drive up and ask me and Jazmin if we like to party and i said no, but she was like yea and they gave her some fliers. James got really pissed and called Jazmin "scandalous" all cuz of some stupid fliers! i was like geez...i told Jazmin i think she should leave him alone, i mean they aren't even together and he gets mad cuz she shows up at a bar that he just happens to be at, and cuz she takes some fliers from some guys?? no, i don't think so. but we had fun. i came home and knocked out. i guess i was more drunk than i thought. i slept like a rock. today we are all going to the beach (me, my mom, my bro, my sis, and my husband) so it should be fun. well guess i'll stop writing now. more later.

Unhappy

well, today eric started his new job, whoo hoo! we found out he gets paid the day before we leave for Long Beach, so we will have an extra $400 on our trip, yay! i think he likes the job, its a little boring, but at least its a job, right? i will miss him being home with me all day, tho! well my dad came in today acting like a total jerk to me. he started screaming at me about some stupid sandwich he bought me that i didn't eat, and said i "better not ask him to buy me anything else ever." so i just said "ok, i won't ask you for anything else." like i asked him for things anyway. i am 22 years old, i have my own income, i don't need him buying things for me! so he left and then he came home screaming at me again about how i owe him $173 for my gym fees. i tried telling him that i paid my gym fees and that must be a mistake, but he just kept screaming at me and telling me i was calling him a liar and did i want to call the girl and ask her myself...then he started bringing up my cell phone bill and how he got that turned off...i dunno he is just really mean to me and i don't understand why. i didn't even do anything! and so later he came back and told me that i could give the money to my mom and that would be for groceries. but i told him that i alreadt gave her $200 and i don't have anymore money to give her. and he said "oh well." i know he does that just so he doesn't have to give my mom money for groceries, but its not my responsibility to give her money. this is his family and he is not even providing for them. i don't get him at all. i just know he better not ask me for anything, not to "borrow $10" or anything. i am sick of him treating me like crap.

Not Much Going On...

well, today i got paid, but my money is practically gone. dad is still not giving mom any money, so i gave her some today, then i had to pay all my stinkin' bills, so that left me with like $50 for the next 2 weeks. this is so hard, but thank GOD eric found a job. he got that data entry job and yea, its only minimum wage, but they said he types fast enough that he might get a raise in a month or two. but at least he found a job! i am so glad for him! cuz it sucks when i'm the only one that has money, cuz whenever we wanna do something i have to pay, and i have to pay our car payment too and all that...buth argh he IS my husband after all. sometimes ppl don't believe me when i say i'm married cuz i look so young (i am young! i'm only 22 sheesh). our one year anniversary is on August 16th. wowee! time sure flies when sh!t happens. ain't it the truth! so i guess for the next couple of weeks i am gonna get real familiar with my local library. yea, cuz dad also let the direct tv get turned off and he refuses to pay it. i will DIE if he lets the internet get turned off! but if he does let that happen, sh!t will hit the fan cuz there are 5 ppl in this house that use the computer besides him. its not our fault every bill is in his name. if he thinks we are gonna help pay for HIS bills he has another thing comin'. well i'm sleepy but gotta wait up for my little bro, he went to some party and won't be home til 2 a.m. so i'll try to stay awake til then. more tomorrow or whenever i feel like i got somethin' to say.

Sleepy

well here i am sitting up ALONE. i'm so sleepy but i am not gonna go to bed yet. eric went to take a typing test for this data entry job, i really hope he gets it!! it would be good for him to have a job so he wouldn't just be bored around the house, and have some money of his own to spend on himself! he has an interview tomorrow, i'm praying it goes well! i am gonna get my cell turned back on hopefully tomorrow, my BEST FRIEND maggie is letting me turn it on in her name til i can come up with $125 to get it turned on in my own name. she is SO SWEET not many friends even BEST FRIENDS would let you do that! she is super cool i love her! well things are better and kinda not better around here. my dad is still being stingy with all his money so we barely have groceries. and my mom doesn't get paid til NEXT MONTH so i gotta start helping out more and that doesn't leave me with much $$. but its ok, i don't mind as long as i have my cell back! life is HELL without it. well i'm really tired so i guess i'm gonna get going. later.

Ummm...

Well today was boring as usual, since I don't have any money yet. Eric and I are supposed to go to this out of town event in L.A. next month and we need to save some money for it. I really need to get my cell phone reconnected, but I guess that will have to wait for another month or so...but I really REALLY don't want to wait. I think I will just turn it on again this week. I hope Eric gets a job soon because its really hard paying for everything on my own! Well I have been working alot on my site lately and spending more and more time online. I guess thats a good thing, since I am updating more often. I really LOVE this Ashlee Simpson cd for some reason, I dunno what is so great about it, but it is!!!! Well more tomorrow I guess.